I have yet to meet someone who claims the Christian faith and seeks knowledge.

“Have faith.”

“Just believe and it will happen.”

“You’ve got to believe.”

All of these are extinguishers. They suffocate the flame of curiosity. They satisfy the easily satisfied with half-answers. These are not things that a person who truly desires knowledge will ever find themselves saying.

I’m assaulted almost every day by every depth of stupidity that exists. I’ve seen the lowest of the low, and the commonality shared across the board is that they have brains that don’t even begin to seek answers for things. Religion is lost on them. They don’t need it, they don’t need answers. Religion is intended to control the middle ground. It was created to control the average person. A typical person will ask for the reasoning behind things. They may not feel a constant nagging in the back of their minds if that reason is not satisfactory to them. They’re likely to be able to accept that reason and move on, satisfactory or not. That’s where religion fits in.

I’ve walked away from the Internet almost entirely for nearly five months. I left it, in good conscience, in order to improve my life. I spent so much time and effort interfacing with this amazing invention that connects people. In effect I was able to form connections to others whom exist in social spheres I’m wholly extant from.

I was immediately filled with disgust. “th3j35t3r”, yellow ribbons, Bradley Manning hate, “Ed Snowden IS A TURRURIST!” babble bullshit… These are all opinions held by individuals in the fanbase of “information security”.

I’ve watched “#prosec” and “Anonymous”, and all the douchebags in between, from a distance. It’s hilarious. Having formerly kept up to date with these people, I can tell you that it’s entirely similar watching from afar as it is being involved with communication. It’s all drama. Relentless, redundant, retarded drama. “OMG YOU PICKED A FIGHT WITH SOMEONE I LIKE SO I’M GONNA HACK EVERY MACHINE YOU HAVE BECAUSE I DONT LIEK U”. It’s kindergarten, sans kindergarten teacher. The breakdown is just as hilarious.

Having major depression sucks. I don’t remember how many times I’ve been diagnosed with major depression, but I do know that I’ve been on countless medications with countless horrible side effects and I’ve run the gamut on pills, some that people have never heard of. I’ve gone unmedicated for over two years now. Being unmedicated has been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. During peak times, things are amazing. I can more than function, I can succeed and overcome any obstacle. When the lowest points are hit, everything becomes an obstacle. Getting up in the morning is an obstacle. Getting out of bed is an obstacle. I can barely bring myself to keep in touch with people, everything turns into bitterness and hatred. When I’m happy, I’m an asshole because it’s fun. When I’m feeling horrible, I’m an asshole because it’s a self defense mechanism. Yes, I’m admitting to being an asshole, but at least I’m not always wrong when I’m an asshole.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the “PsyOPS” and “InfoSec” professionals that are wildly chasing hackers all over the internet. People claim they’re so elite because they’re infiltrating A GROUP THAT ANYONE CAN JOIN, REGARDLESS OF RACE, CREED, OR RELIGION. I guess it’s tacitly not infiltration, as I’m sure some of the “legit” members don’t have the group’s best interest at heart, for various reasons. So if you’re claiming to be “Destroyer of Anonymous”, you fail at life. You’re a fucking loser- an asshat. The reality is that Anonymous is destroying itself. It swells and declines. It will always eliminate parts of itself. Kind of like pruning. No group with such radical and diverse beliefs can remain cohesive. However, all “#prosec” douchebags are typically Republican, Bradley Manning hating government suckups who shit on the first amendment and would love to see all Arab Americans die. These are not generalizations- these fucking nutbags still have sore tits over 9/11. At least, the “twitter vocal” ones are that way. It’s ironic. If you want to gain support for your cause of “hating Anonymous”, wouldn’t you be nicer than a nazi? My guess is “mudsplatter / hubris” is still on the #prosec side of the fence, hunting Anonymous down with PsyOPS and trolling. However, he’s playing good cop at the moment. The minds at Backtrace Security likely discovered that being raging douches from all angles doesn’t get you very far. So riding high on the crest of “namshub.pdf” and the fact that all their dox came from the fallout just before HBGary, they’re trying like Hell to prove they’re actually worth something to the internet, and not just screaming trolls.

I can’t sleep and can’t think of anything good to blog about, so I’m going to throw up my Vim startup script. This is what works for me, and I’m using it with gvim as well as a slightly modified version for vim. Without further ado, the startup script that makes the world’s best text editor even more useful to me:

colors desert
syntax on
set gfn=PragmataPro:h12,Arial\ Unicode\ MS:h12
set backspace=2
set shm+=I
set ls=2
set ruler

"UTF-8 Shizzle
if has("multi_byte")
  if &termencoding == ""
    let &termencoding = &encoding
  endif
  set encoding=utf-8
  setglobal fileencoding=utf-8
  "setglobal bomb
  set fileencodings=ucs-bom,utf-8,latin1
endif

"Begin custom function for search
highlight found gui=undercurl guibg=#121212 guifg=#6458f0 guisp=#6767ff

function Supafind()
  let farg = input("Search Regex: ")
  call matchadd("found",farg)
  echo ""
endfunction

map <F2> :call Supafind()<CR>
map <F3> :call clearmatches()<CR>:echo "Cleared Matches"<CR>

Just writing this to keep up appearances. I don’t really have anything new or interesting to add. I suppose the Trayvon Martin saga will be interesting to watch as it unfolds, I just hope people don’t treat the expert analysis like a fucking referee making a call. If an expert makes a determination, just go with it. Don’t yell and scream that the determination is wrong just because you don’t agree with the end result. That’s what retards do. Instead, learn to accept reality for what it is, rather than sticking your head in the sand whenever something becomes uncomfortable.

The installation of my virtual soapbox is now complete. I wrote a half-second bash script to take care of fixing permissions on my end before rsync-ing the whole load to the “web server” (term used loosely, here, as the janky garbage I have set up only took two whole seconds of deployment). Everything should be all set. No more XML: PARSER JUST HAD A GODDAMNED FUCKING SEIZURE, YOU RETARD style errors or 403 Asshat Has No Permission issues. Should deploy with two simple commands and let me stand on my little, virtual, audience-less, soapbox all day long.