I fucking love this prank call. It’s some of the funniest shit I’ve ever heard. This guy who goes by “JiZZy” calls AOL’s signup hotline and decides to have a little fun with the poor guy he gets connected to. Hilarity ensues:

Transcript

JiZZy: Hello?
AOL: Hallo?
AOL: (Clears throat)
JiZZy: Hello?
AOL: Yes sir, how can I help you?
J: I can hear you.
A: Yes?
J: Yes.
(Simultaneously) J: Are you American? A: How can I help you?
(J Slight First Simultaneous) J: Are you American A: Pardon Me?
(Simultaneously) J: Are you American? A: I am an Indian.
A: I am an Indian.
J: You are WHAT?
A: I am an Indian.
J: Well my name is
A: Yes?
J: My name is
J: My name is Enid Pakistan, and I come from Pakistan, and I want to know, um, if the America Online, and why it is being handled to the, um, dirty mud people of India. I am from Pakistan…
A:(Clears throat)
J: …I am a Pakistani.
A: Well,
J: (not clear)
A: You definitely show your akhat, excuse me, you definitey show your uh akhat by calling us uh here, you definitey show your akhat.
JiZZy: I dip my balls in the Ganges river.
A: Ok, dude, you want to speak now, you better be careful, if you do want to speak, just keep the phone down and get lost. Do you undertstand what I am saying dude? You are showing exactly who you are, from where you are. That’s what you are showing. That’s-That’s in your blood, so there is no suprise there, right?
J: You are threating me! We will launch nuclear missles at the Punjabi southern India! You are dirty mud person, I took a big shit in the river Ganges!
A: Okay, DUDE!, Just get lost. You take care. You have a nice day. Next time you just call it- Next time you just call us, you’re going to be in big trouble, okay? You better be careful.
J: I violate the corpses floating in the river Ganges.
A: And uh, just do one more thing, do one more thing, tell your mother all these things, she will definitely like it. Okay?
(Hiroshima-sized LOLity that JiZZy could not possibly hold back)
J: (Explodes in utter lolity for the next approximately 25 seconds)
Grog: What did he say?
JiZZy: Did you record that?
TehDely: YES!

Crazy. I didn’t even realize that yesterday was February 29th. I typically do notice when months do crazy things, like when they have extra days that they don’t typically see. I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open right now. I just got back from working all night, and my feet are ridiculously sore. I’ve consumed more caffeine in the last 18 hours than most people consume in a week. I’m starting to physically slow down. I can’t even get adequate sleep despite my exhaustion. Something will wake me up and I’ll find it impossible to go back to sleep. It’s not the light, my bedroom is really incredibly dark. It’s the noise, I think. The last time I did midnights I found the best results when I slept with earplugs in. But I also need to be able to wake up to an alarm clock. Tricky business, these third shifts. I’ll figure it out- or die trying.

I feel like a douchebag. I need to stop writing blog posts while drunk. Loose lips sink ships, and some opinions are best left unmuttered. I have a habit of opening my big damn mouth when the situation least calls for it. Not sure what the hell I can do about that except manage it and attempt to manage the fallout (which is typically inevitable). Ah well. In the very least, I can assure the five people who read this blog (including myself) that no one who is reading this doesn’t already know my opinions on things. Basically, if you’re reading this blog, you already knew I was going to write it before I did. In most cases, anyways.

My unemployment ran out this month. I’m flying solo, completely without any sort of safety net. If I can’t maintain some steady stream of income, it’s game over. I’ll lose my car and pretty much my only means of doing anything of importance at the moment. Luckily, I’m working at an industrial complex through a temp agency, but I’m not so sure this is going to turn out to be a regular thing. I’ve seen people who are in through a temp agency that have been there for four months, and they’re still temporary. I’m not sure if they just haven’t applied or what their situation is exactly. Either way, this temprary gig isn’t looking very promising.

Tonight is the first night I start working again in over a year. I really think people have assumed I’m “on vacation”. That perhaps I’m not exactly “looking hard” for work or that I’m flat out not looking. The stark reality here is that the jobs simply don’t exist. It’s hard to see that unless you’re jobless and struggling, in which case you probably aren’t involving yourself with others all that much and you’re overly involved in your own search for gainful employment. No, I’ve been looking hard for a long time now, not just for jobs that pay the same rate I was making before- but anything. I applied to anything and everything that came my way. Any employer that claimed to be hiring. Anywhere, anyone, for anything- I applied and heard nothing back. I have more rejection emails than I can count. Barack Obama is being lauded now for adding jobs to a forlorn nation. The sad reality is that the jobs being added cannot sustain this country. The government is despotic, I’ve realized that sooner rather than later, and corporations are at the masthead.

Just a couple things. First of all, I may have work lined up soon. Woo! Big hurdle crossed with that one, a lot of time and effort finally paying off. It’s only been a year since I’ve last had gainful employment. Here’s hoping I’m employed soon and from here on. Second, I’ve dumped my contracted cellular provider in favor of one of those cheap services that are typically associated with “burners”. It’s going to get me through the hard times, that’s all that really counts. I need a phone. I won’t have to go without. Lastly, if I get a job soon you shouldn’t expect my blog updates to be as rapidfire as they are now. Life is hectic enough without a job, it’s going to be far more so when I’m working again. I probably won’t want to touch this damn blog, despite the satisfaction I get from updating it. It’s quite possible that I’ll have the time but not the inclination. You never know.

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I’ve been running FreeBSD 9.0 since it was released. Before that, I had been running FreeBSD 8.2. Before that, 8.0 and 7.2 prior. I really enjoy this OS. I think it comes from the enjoyment I got running Gentoo, however I learned most of what I did about POSIX environments thanks to Gentoo breaking all the time. It was definitely not an environment I could maintain. FreeBSD brings the Ports software distribution system to a stable BSD kernel. It’s my favorite operating system, even if I happen to suck somewhat at securing it. I’m still learning, and I’ll continue to learn as I go. The best part, to me, is that pretty much every problem you may encounter is almost readily solved with Google and log watching.

I may or may not be drunk. We’ll get that out of the way first. I realize it’s only 7:15pm, but at least it’s not 8:00am. Nothing’s worse than being piss drunk in the morning, amirite? I dunno, I think every blog gets a drunk post once in a while, I might as well drunk-post. I’m not really that bad off, just a little tipsy. Losing weight has made me a lightweight, which is a little frustrating. I used to brag about being able to drink quite a bit before actually becoming inebriated. No more, as I’m drunk rather easily, and cheaply. Thankfully, I’m not drunk all the time. Once a month is probably the greatest frequency that I’ve been trashed, even in the worst of circumstances. I’m grateful that at least my ability to write isn’t severely hindered after a few drinks. I’d be frustrated if I couldn’t bang out a paragraph that’s readable.