There are times when I can barely believe what my life is like. I have a partner who is my best friend and sexy as hell. I have wonderful kids. I have a career. I have everything I could wish for. I need to take time out to explain how appreciative I am for the privileges I am gifted. I’ve never had a love like this before, and I’ll never have another love like it. It’s important to me because it’s an immense source of my life satisfaction, and it’s only so satisfying because I was already happy before we met. The ability to take happiness and compound it the way my Amber has, I just never imagined getting to experience a true love that’s based on communication and boundaries and a real and working healthy relationship.

Sometimes it feels like people like me more or prefer my company more when I’m not asserting myself. I don’t know if it’s a me problem or if it’s just how interactions go. I’ve always been a pretty laid back person, and I really still am, but I’m trying to not be avoidant to a toxic level. I don’t really have anything outlined ahead of time to get off my chest, so the best I can do for the moment is some “stream-of-consciousness” style rambling. I’m just working with what I have.

Like many teenagers growing up, I had been conditioned to reserve things that I thought or felt that weren’t in line with what my parents expected of me. I had to reserve things I actually thought or felt for when I was around friends, where I could mostly express myself without fear of reproach. I feel like this is a pretty normal situation for everyone in my age group.

What became incredibly unfortunate was me taking this mindset into relationships. My first relationship was all teenage lust initially, and when that wore off it devolved quickly into disdain and eventually divorce. I couldn’t really be myself. I hated my situation in its entirety. At that point I didn’t really like beer, but I tolerated wine pretty well. It ended up becoming an issue, as I would buy a bottle of wine and down it in one sitting semi-regularly. Thankfully, once that relationship was over I never went back to that sort of situation.

So You’re Dating a Nurse

You’ve met someone, you’re dating, and you feel like you’ve found an incredibly intelligent and compassionate person to share your life with. You’d be completely correct, but if you aren’t sure of what exactly this entails, please do read on.

Tis But a Scratch

You may not realize it yet, but you’ll soon learn that you’re being a gigantic baby. Stomach ache? Headache? Feeling some kind of way? Walk it off, you’re fine. You’ll soon learn that the threshold for “I’m dying” is further out than you could’ve imagined. Your nurse knows, and she’s not going to be shy about sharing it with you. After all, “tis but a scratch”.

I hope that one day my children can inherit my mistakes, that they not be required to make the same ones I had made in life, and can make their own mistakes and learn along the way in a less harsh manner than what I experienced. I hope that being an open book for them gives them the brevity they need to live better than I could. I don’t know that it will work out that way, but I can hope at least.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so exhausted in my entire life. I’ve worked third shift, I’ve had sprees of all-nighters, I’ve experienced illness that wholly prevents sleep- But of all the things to bring me to my knees, not having either of my sleep aids at the ready eclipses every incidence of insomnia that I’ve ever experienced.

I’ve self-medicated for insomnia many years now. Upon discovering that prolonged melatonin use can cause vivid nightmares, I had sought the assistance of a doctor to get a normal night’s sleep. It worked alright for a short while, but eventually I found a number of weaknesses in relying on Ambien and Lunesta. Namely, they only half work after a period of time. There would be partially prepared, partially eaten meals found randomly in the morning. At least on one occasion I drove myself to a corner liquor store in the middle of the night.

Fuck China.

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Democratization 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪志 法輪大法 大法弟子 強制斷種 強制堕胎 民族淨化 人體實驗 肅清 胡耀邦 趙紫陽 魏京生 王丹 還政於民 和平演變 激流中國 北京之春 大紀元時報 九評論共産黨 獨裁 專制 壓制 統一 監視 鎮壓 迫害 侵略 掠奪 破壞 拷問 屠殺 活摘器官 誘拐 買賣人口 遊進 走私 毒品 賣淫 春畫 賭博 六合彩 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Winnie the Pooh 劉曉波动态网自由门

For anyone who has been hiding under a rock for the last couple months, I’ll bring you up to speed. Andrew Lee is a spoiled little bitch who “bought” the once-venerable IRC network freenode. This little fuckstick initially claimed he was only orbiting to support free software causes, but as he put money into freenode began continually demanding more say in how freenode was operated. Ultimately he drove away the staff that makes freenode what it is, and they formed a new network at Libera.