Heartbroken

My mother is a toxic person. She has always been a toxic person, and I have a suspicion I know where it started. Her father, my grandfather, was an alcoholic. He demanded obeisance from all his children, he was to be revered and worshipped without question, and my mom didn’t appreciate that. She told me that he was stubborn and demanded “people kiss his ass” and that was why they no longer spoke to one another.

Unwanted Sons

I’m sorry, this is going to be an emotional vent post. I have a lot going on right now and I need to let at least some of it out. First and foremost, my mother has utterly abandoned me as a person. When I asked her why, she gave me some stupid bullshit excuse about how our family “does right by exes; for the kids!” Except it’s a fucking lie, because my mom is toxic and awful.

Dog and Pony

I need to purge my entire life of Google. I sorely need this. The immediacy of this need is absurd. I really despise the entire economy surrounding the internet at large. It’s disgusting. At some point we’re going to come to a revelation that these “services” offered by data brokers are incredibly immoral and unethical. Someone’s going to die eventually. Just wait and see. All it’s going to take is one abusive husband who wants absolute control to buy information from a data broker in order to find the wife trying to run away from him.

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers ahead! Close immediately if you haven’t seen the movie or read the book. I’ve never read the book before seeing Wes Anderson’s film adaptation. I want to go back and read it now, though. I feel a connection to the material that makes it feel as though I understand what Roald Dahl was trying to express. It feels as though he was desperately trying to express a wisdom he had learned in life that he thought was very important and worth sharing.

Cult

It seems like everyone has a set of ideals these days that they’ve dug themselves into like a tick. They’ve found a hole and burrowed deep into it, pushing everyone and everything out. Honestly, I don’t think “treat others as you’d like to be treated” is a bad hole to dig yourself into. In fact, I’d say that it’s the best hole to dig yourself into. Choosing that hole is choosing a hard road, but a righteous one.

Always Sunny

Holy shit, man. I’ve been watching “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” lately and it’s goddamned hilarious. I love it. It’s so fucked up and the plots are never predictable. They’re all over the place. One day the gang is smoking crack to try to get welfare, then they’re trying to sell a kilo of coke they found, and end up selling it for like five percent of its value. Holy shit this show is fucked up.

Mocked Mocking Mockery

On the front end not much has changed about this blog. On the back end I’ve made a few tweaks. More than a few tweaks. The heavy lifting is done by Hugo, Git, VSCode, Vim, and Make. I love learning new shit and implementing it to make things easier. It’s super goddamn useful, and honestly I’m loving writing Makefiles to do things automatically rather than bash scripts. It feels cleaner. It might not be any different other than feeling cleaner, but it’s also an extra thing to learn.

Neopronouns

A Guide to Neopronouns First off, if you care to read that absolute trash just download NoScript and kill javascript on NYTimes.com. Easiest way to bypass their bullshit, since they blocked 12ft. Now, that article is garbage for many reasons, but one of the biggest is that it claims to be a guide to something without actually explaining anything. There is no actual information in that article, it doesn’t explain anything, it simply excuses stupidity at nearly every new paragraph.

Daily Blast 9/28

Amazon wants to charge a subscription fee for Alexa eventually This story totally makes sense to me. After all, who wouldn’t pay to have a third party feed the government their private lives on a regular basis? I mean, it sounds like an awesome way to cement 1984 as the defacto standard. Fucking morons. Don’t even get me started on how fucking stupid these systems are. You ask these things for the weather and you end up getting a fucking rotten tomatoes score for the movie “The Weather Man”.

Perfect Affordable Home Audio

Alright, I have the final puzzle piece in place with regards to my home theater setup. I really feel like this setup is the best setup for me. I love the shit out of this. So I’m going to run through the list. Here we go. Generic and not super important TV Schiit Vidar Schiit Freya Klipsch R-41M Apple TV 4K 128gb So here’s the thing: The Apple TV unit really honestly ties it all together like nothing else.

Substance

I don’t feel like I have a net positive impact on society. When I search my feelings and examine this notion I’ve arrived at, I don’t really see any contributions that end up being notable. I’ve done things that have amused me or that I’ve enjoyed, but I can’t really say I’ve done anything to meaningfully change anyone’s life. Not someone else’s, not my own, I’ve never really done anything substantial.

In Minecraft

Sometimes I’ll be doing something, usually driving, and I’ll sort of go on auto-pilot. My mind will drift away from a connection to what my body is doing and my body will sort of autonomously manage the slight nuances of the steering wheel and my feet will kind of automatically guide the acceleration of the car in a regular manner. It’s the wildest thing to be driving without even being mentally present.

Demiurge

Have you ever read about the cosmogony of the gnostics? It’s wild. It’s some of the wildest shit I’ve ever read, and humorously enough it’s about equally possible compared to the ordinary Judeo-Christian bullshit people readily lap up like so many thirsty bitches. They believe that the universe was created by a subordinate God, the Demiurge. He’s not the godhead, necessarily, but an agent of it. They also believe in reincarnation.

Fuck

Bruh. For fucking real though. What a day. Just what a fucking goddamn day. It’s just goddamn crazy. But after tomorrow so much will be over. I’ll have wrapped up a number of projects and closed a couple orders. And it’s about fucking time. Like, seriously. I’ve been absolutely stretched thin on this shit. It feels like I haven’t relaxed in a while. I mean, goddamn. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Armie Hammer is a Sad Little Manlet

Watching the last episode of this show, and the cannibal shit is fucked up. Armie Hammer is a psycho and wouldn’t be shit if he weren’t born into wealth. Hell, he was born into wealth and he still isn’t shit. He’ll never star in another movie in his life. So he has cannibal fantasies and he enjoys rape, got it. That’s pretty clear. Anyone think he’s going to try to sue the producers of “House of Hammer”?

Artificialis Populi

Man, watching this Armie Hammer shit is pretty telling. Armie Hammer seems to have some combination of sociopathy and narcissistic personality disorder. It’s wild. Work has been pretty demanding lately. It seems like the all-consuming and eternal Sisyphean shit-show that taints every molecule of my being with sadness and longing for a better world. Billionaires and the ultra-wealthy see us as cattle. We are not their peers as they would have us believe in media and propaganda that they spout.

New Car

Finally we’re back to having two working cars. We picked up a ‘24 Equinox for my lovely wife to wheel around town with and I’m driving her previous car. It’s just a relief to not be strained getting everywhere we need to go with one car or borrowing cars. I’m still mad at myself for fucking my car up. That shit sucked. It was a 2020 and it was paid off completely.

Moving Goal Posts

At some point somewhere in the past I said to myself a dangerous mantra that I think we’ve all told ourselves at one point or another. “Just a few more weeks until {x} and then it’ll all be good from there.” The {x} can literally be anything from a life event to a large purchase or an activity or gathering. It can be anything. The time window can be anything too.

FetchQuest

I guess this post is about the meaning of life, given the fact that the title is absolutely the meaning of life. Yay, capitalism! I mean, this is what you wanted, right? Planned obsolescence with no way out of heavy metals leeching into our soil, poisoning our land and our wells? Sounds fucking awesome to me! Thanks, capitalism! And, yes, capitalism has indeed turned what it means to be American into a giant “Fetch Quest”.

Man, I Don't Know

Legitimately. No, really. Man, I don’t know. We’ve got all this bullshit going on with, like, nuclear fusion. And maybe we have room temperature superconductors? Man. I really do not know. This species seems absolutely doomed while duly inflecting some genuine charm as well. It’s just stupid, really. I am not the smartest person in the room. I know this. I absolutely never feel like the smartest person in the room, and in all honesty I feel like I would be a good bar for the low end of acceptable stupidity.

Vulture Is an Embarassing Rag and the Future Vice

Read this moronic bullshit first. Archive, just in case. Okay. Lets start taking this fucking moron apart, shall we? If done right, the trick would help ensure that Rotten Tomatoes logged positive reviews but not negative ones. First of all, why are you so fucking hell-bent on imparting your own personal bias on a content aggregation site? Are you mentally handicapped, Lane Brown? Do you have an issue with the “tyranny of the masses”?

Lows

I have to admit, life is uniquely creative in how it can eviscerate you when you least expect it to. I guess I should’ve known when I had seen so many people yell “BINGO” with bone cancer and really awful shit like that. It’s a hint as to how absolutely abrasive life can be. Now I’m not equating events in my life to some horrid diagnosis, not by a longshot. I’m simply highlighting the seasonings of life.

Mother!

Just because I don’t appreciate the miseries introduced to the world by the Christian faith, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the artistry that has accompanied it’s multi-millennial existence. That said, I’m re-watching “Mother!” for the fiftieth time, because it really is a piece of art in film. Right at the beginning you start in strange territory, with the wife being battered and consumed by flame, then extinguished. Saved, somehow, miraculously. You see the husband put a giant gem on a stand and the charred house seemingly comes alive again.

The Future

It’s the wildest thing to be watching. Wild claims coming out of South Korea about room temperature superconductors popping up out of nowhere. Apparently we’re edging ever closer to breakthroughs in Quantum Computing as well as goddamn nuclear fusion. There are wild new technologies being developed for space travel and all sorts of wildly exciting things on the horizon. We could be on the verge of becoming a Type One civilization.

I Called It Already

Holy shit. It happened. Ruby Franke has finally met with the law. And I totally called it. They’ve arrested Ruby Franke on suspicion of child abuse. Wow. Wow wow wow. I mean, it’s been THREE YEARS since I wrote about this lady, but it finally happened. What blows my mind even more is that her daughter said “Finally!” when she was arrested. I just… I don’t even know how to process it right now.

Guilt

Sometimes I feel guilty about the advantages I’ve enjoyed over the years. At work I find myself pretty consistently applied to things. There’s never a shortage of stuff for me to work on, ever, it seems. My coworkers complain pretty frequently about working help desk, or even help desk having no tickets for them to handle. I’m rarely ever left alone to just dick around for a day. Part of that probably comes from me pressuring my employers to pay me more every opportunity that I get.

Insulation

I don’t write as much as I used to. I’ve gone through periods where I could write page after page of all sorts of thoughts popping into my head and I could just bang out idea after idea. Actually, I don’t really know if that’s true or not. I think I’ve been more prolific than in recent times, but I don’t have numbers to support that theory. One thing I do know is that I’ve sat at this keyboard, at a post not unlike this one, and I’ve erased the first line.