I’m currently not sure what I should write about. I get that I’m writing this at the moment, but I mean I do intend to write something substantial about computing, programming, or maybe maths. I dunno. I’m still kinda figuring that out. Until then I’m just doing the “one million monkeys sitting in front of one million typewriters” thing.

I can’t even adequately describe my frustration right now. It’s immense. It’s YUGE. I guess I’ll try to describe exactly why it exists, and why I don’t foresee it improving at all in the next year or so.

First and foremost, qurantine is tough. It’s not the best thing I’ve ever experienced, and a lot of “gamers” are making jokes about quarantine being neutral buoyancy. I get it. Most game and computer enthusiasts stay indoors for long stretches. If they leave, it’s begrudgingly. I understand the stereotype. I spent a while proving it to be true. There’s just some radical exception to that rule when you’re told that you can’t leave. Suddenly the desire for something previously undesirable grows exponentially.

I think sitting around all day and having nothing to do with the outdoors in any capacity might be causing all of us some substantial mental harm. Though, the alternative being putting those at-risk in danger may be a greater evil than just sitting around all day. I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers.

I do kind of want to just rip it off, like a band-aid. Just get back out there and continue doing business as usual. It’s starting to wear on me. It’s making me more bitter. I’m less tolerant of people who fail to think things through. I’m less tolerant of people in general. I’m not doing awesome with staying inside all day, every day. I need to find something to break my day up. I’ve been taking a lot of vacation days to just decompress, but I don’t think it’s as effective as I’d like it to be. Maybe I’ll work more. Just get more done with the tasks I have set before me. I dunno. You can tell I’m losing my mind when working more is on the table.

Press play and listen as you read.

It looks as though we’re going to have to hunker down for two weeks given all the bullshit going on. Good ol’ COVID-19 is running rampant across the globe and scaring boomers into destroying the economy. It’s also pretty likely that we’re all going to be unemployed soon due to this little pandemic. The worst part of it has to be the panic buying that everyone’s succumbing to.

Today is an alright day, but tomorrow will be much better. For the first time in over a decade, I feel complete. Absent of worry, without fear, just filled with warmth and love.

The “Republican Message” as transmitted to the poor assholes who carry them every election is very distorted. It has to be in order to make sense to the intended recipients. But to anyone with a handful of braincells left, the message is very easy to decipher. Take the whole second amendment gripe. “You need a gun in order to defend yourself from a tyrannical government.” That’s the official party rhetoric for the impoverished masses to consume. The truth is that the wealthy party members want the right to shoot anyone who dare try and remove their wealth, mostly taking aim at all of the poor, including Terry and Nancy in the trailer park with their “Trump 2020” sign. Even if you’re in a middle class home and you’re making a “decent living” for yourself, you’re not exempt from their ire.

I’m so aloof right now. I just don’t feel grounded in the slightest. I feel like I’m all over the place, and I think that’s about as accurate a description of me that can be made. Tomorrow is poised to be very interesting. I think tomorrow is quite likely the point in my life where things reach peak “shit-hit-the-fan” levels. We’ll see, I guess.

I know I keep promising “interesting” content for this blog. I know I’m more than capable of generating it. I just have other things going on in life that honestly matter at least a little more than any of that shit. So I keep getting caught in the excuse that I just don’t fucking give a shit. It is what it is.