I'm Married!

Before I met Amber I never expected to get married again. No joke, I really thought I’d just solo the rest of my life or just at most have a “life partner” that’s close but I’m not legally attached to, because it was a terrifying thought to be legally attached to pretty much anyone.

Then I met Amber, and she’s my life partner. She’s it. She’s my ride or die, and now she’s my wife.

I love you, my wife. More! ❤️

Borderline Problems

The borderline ex is being an asshole again. She’s been manipulating our son and trying to get him to “keep secrets” because she knows she’s a half-ass mother. She’s also getting called out on it and now being an asshole publicly about my wife. This from someone whose gut is so large she can’t keep her navel clean enough to stop it from weeping with infection. This from someone who had her tongue split.


Not gonna lie, I’m really tired. The kind of tired you can’t escape with sleep. The sort of tired you feel in your bones. Honestly, there’s a lot to unpack regarding my mother. We apparently have irreconcilable differences. I’ve made attempts to reconcile, but I’ve had zero reciprocation on her end. Point in fact, I could reconcile with her today if I simply apologized and ignored the ways she would hurt my feelings.


It always feels as though there’s never enough time. There are always things to do, things to fix, places to be, people to see. Life is about being continuously engaged. I get it, and I participate, but I also get a ton of down time in between. It’s never really consistent in either direction, just a smattering of chaos that comes and goes. I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t have a lot to write.


My niece’s birthday party is this weekend. She’s going to be a year old. She’s absolutely precious and I’m excited to celebrate her first birthday. At least, I’m trying to put that at the forefront of my mind. I’m trying to not allow the negativity to prevail. It’s hard when I know I’m not wanted there. My mother doesn’t want me to be there. My sister doesn’t want me to be there.


I know that I’ve been a cause of my relationship with my mom blowing apart, but the real sticking point and reason we’ve never been able to maintain an actual relationship is that everything is one directional with my mom. She accepts no blame, she apparently believes she’s perfect. She has never hurt anyone’s feelings or made any mistakes. People have only ever hurt her feelings and for that they have to pay.

Port 22

I have to say, I love port 22. It’s ubiquitous enough that no system administrator would dare block it, as he would be binding his own hands possibly permanently. Port 22 is the glorious port assigned to secure shell. It’s also how 99% of the internet’s heavy lifting has historically been performed. It’s great to use OpenSSH everywhere as a result, and on occasion you can even pipe traffic over SSH via dynamic port forwarding and whatnot.

Fuck China

China says banning TikTok in the US is “against fair competition”, and to that I have to issue a hardy “fuck you” to the commie scum Xi Jinping and his Parliament of cronies and criminals. Allow the Chinese people to express their views and opinions freely and then maybe we’ll talk, you fucking commie cunt. I swear to fucking GOD I can’t stand the CCP, and I hope someone shoots Xi Jinping right in the fucking head.

Steel Shavings

An improperly maintained machine can manifest some odd symptoms. Weird noises from grinding. Leaks of various fluids from lubricants to coolants and possibly anything in between, depending on the machine. Steel shavings are never something you want to see in an oil pan. I feel like there are steel shavings in my oil pan. I’m just running on empty. I’m tired. I haven’t done anything substantial in my hobbies of choice.

PNC Bank Going Under?

I’ve been a PNC Bank customer on and off for two decades now. More recently I’ve relied upon them to handle my day to day because they purchased the best bank I’ve ever used; Simple. Well, that’s not entirely correct. Simple was purchased by another bank, which PNC Bank swooped in to purchase in a larger acquisition. So I’ve been pissed off at PNC for a long time, because I fucking loved Simple.

PAX Optimization

There seems to be a kind of “semi-undocumented” feature in the PAX 3 via way of the “lip presence” detection in the PAX 3. If you open the app and put the vape in “Boost” mode, then start it; watch how the temperature acts when you gently place your finger on the top button just before it clicks. You’ll notice the amount of pressure applied will cause the unit to heat to boost temperatures.

PAX Is King

I have three dry herb vapes. I’ve had the Cloudious9 Atomic9 the longest, it was my first dry herb vape. When I got it I really kind of thought it was a toy. After I used it about five or so times I figured out it very much isn’t a toy. It does the job it’s built to do for basically sixty dollars. Honestly it’s a steal at the price listed.

Eat the Rich

I’m honestly grossly dissatisfied with the way things are. As it stands, I currently make heaps of money for people “above me” in status. I personally see a small fraction of the fruits of my labor in profit. I could give a shit less about the rich assholes in charge, and if I had my way, I’d reap the entirety of the fruits of my labor. I hear a lot about how this “land of opportunity” is just waiting to be seized by anyone entrepreneurial enough to grab hold of it.


For the first time in my entire lifetime, I have a partner. I have a real actual partner who is absolutely my better. A partner whom I’m proud to call my partner and brag about and publicly affectionate with and I can be happy for the rest of my life to be with. I’ve always wanted to have that with someone, for someone to be that for me and have that from me as well.

Something Techy

I think I’m going to write about something at least tech related, soon. I know I’ve probably said that about a million times at this point, but I think I might be kind of serious. I’m considering maybe learning NixOS or ProxMox or something interesting and new, and then documenting things I can’t just easily “google” and putting the information up here so that it’s still available. I like to do that, to fill in gaps of knowledge wherever possible, but it’s not always possible.


Christ almighty, I’m so fucking bored right now. I’m stuck in fucking Colorado in a hotel with a broken ass TV and fuck all to do, because the Colorado weed scene is pathetic compared to home and I am not a fan of the outdoors. I’m going to go insane from boredom. Worse yet, I have to travel for work all week next week, so I get to be trapped in a fucking hotel room all next fucking week, too.


It’s been a minute since I’ve updated. I figured since I have what feels like many hours free to dedicate to whatever the hell I feel like, I might as well update this old damn thing. At this point I’m going to have to keep this fucking thing up forever. I guess that’s not a bad thing, it’s honestly very therapeutic. I am deathly afraid of being such an awful person that my kids cut me off and never speak to me again when they become adults.


Man, a dispensary I use frequently has edibles on sale $3.50 for a 10 pack of 200mg. Fucking insane prices. I remember when I was a teenager and I got bunk weed for like $30. Modern weed where I live puts the shit I used to get to shame tenfold and then some. It’s ridiculous. The low cost of edibles is the reason my tolerance went absolutely apeshit in the first place.


Today is the anniversary of an event I’m incredibly grateful for. Today marks four years since my first date with my wife. It was today that I was given the opportunity to feel partnership and trust for the first time in my life. I know this is a short one, but I still felt I needed to express it. I love my wife, she’s my partner for life.

Rest in Peace Rick and Morty

I started watching season seven of Rick and Morty and it began pretty painfully. None of what had been established as “Rick and Morty” staples were present in the first eight minutes, which is wild. In the first six seasons you can pretty easily detect pretty telling story arcs that betray who was involved in writing them. Any of that was entirely missing from the first episode of season seven, and I’m pretty sad about it.

Jewish Tunnels

The news cycle has been wild lately. I guess the biggest recent takeaway is that Chabad Jews are fucking weird. Like really weird. I guess the weirdness of the story has far right pundits going mad. Like they’re foaming at the mouth about this mattress and high chair found in the “illegal tunnel”. Man, I don’t know. It’s not weird to find garbage laying around random places and it easily could’ve just been shit drug in by a homeless person.


Am I the only one nervous about this coming November? There are tens of millions of brainwashed cult members actively advocating for the suspension of western democracy in hopes of installing their demagogue either by slander campaigns or likely just more seditious activity. Worse yet it seems like the intelligence community is “on the fence” as far as preventing this bullshit from taking place. They’re not doing anything about it. I know they’re not doing anything about it because they literally have the keys to the kingdom.


I just survived a rather gross viral incident that caused my sinus cavity to generate mucous like a torrential downpour. I was coughing up large green chunks by tens of milliliters every day for a solid week, and the stuff coming out of my nose wasn’t any sort of picnic either. It spread through the whole house from person to person for the last month or so. It’s been a pretty disgusting event, really, involving a lot of booger rags.

This Detail Is Important

“Rather than vindicating our constitutional framework, the defendant’s sweeping immunity claim threatens to license presidents to commit crimes to remain in office. The founders did not intend and would never have countenanced such a result.” This is exactly true. By enabling a Cult of Personality around Trump, his followers are enticing him to become the next Xi Jinping, Vladimir Putin, or Kim Jong Un. This is a horrifying precedent that they’re trying to set that was clearly predicted by Margaret Atwood in her novel “Handmaid’s Tale”.


ACAB: Because good people do not choose to be cops. I swear to fucking God, these power-tripping psychotic pigs really need to calm the fuck down. The United States is rife with ridiculous speed traps and these pigs just waiting to catch someone going 35 in a school zone just so they can masturbate to their own perceived authority. It’s pretty sickening. At least in Germany they just set up cameras.

The Occult

One of my favorite vices happens to be reading about the occult. As a staunch atheist, perhaps it’s a morbid preoccupation. I don’t believe a single word of it, but I do find it fascinating. Honestly, a lot of the occult are systems of beliefs that had to “go underground” as a result of the oppressive regime of early growing Christianity. In short, Christianity sent underground the very thing they sought to eliminate completely.


I have a lot to be grateful for this season. I have wonderful kids. I have a wonderful family. I also have the best partner in the world. It is amazing to me that I’ve gone so long without knowing what partnership really is. I just “rolled with the punches” through a number of pretty abusive situations and just thought that I was really awful enough to deserve those situations. My wife is my rock.


Man, I installed Python and Jupyter Notebook and I have to say, it’s cool as shit. I’ve been just banging out stupid little “nothing” snippets of code and playing around to just do simple calculations. It’s very cool stuff. I love the fact that it’s near-native speed and wildly easy to program. It feels very gratifying to learn something that I can just apply casually to make getting stuff done easier.